This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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