When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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