i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
