Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
