I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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