it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
