You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize
