I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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