Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
