i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
They have beer where we have blood.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
