I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
