the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
