in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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