South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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