I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
