She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
