Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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