: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
