Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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