One girl and one boy is just not enough.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
