is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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