That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
