She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
