man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
