HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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