Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
