After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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