i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
