Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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