Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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