i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
