Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
