How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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