I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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