as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
