He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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