I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
