My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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