PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
false alarm, still single
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
