Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
whose parrot is this?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
