But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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