so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
