doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
