i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
