I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
