Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
PANTIES FOUND
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