I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Randomize
