Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
