stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
