Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
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