So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
