So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
